The Choices We Neglect (1/3): Reasons for Failure in Life [Islamized Version]

Disclaimer: This article is about making certain choices which allow us to live a life that is filled with joy, success, love, happiness and positivity most of the time. After reading this article, some readers may get questions in their mind like, "but a life without problems and living in constant happiness seems too unrealistic because we all know that life can never be happy and smooth all the time." My answer for these types of question is that it is true that life can never be happy and smooth all the time because sometimes there are rainy days and sometimes there are sunny days. And we can't do anything about it. The truth is that, we need rainy days in order to value the sunny days and vice versa. Polarity and change are necessary for progress and advancement in life. Therefore, sometimes even if we try our best to live a positive life, we'll still experience negative situations every now and then. And it is totally fine, because only through negative situations we can learn how to be more positive and only after facing negativity we can embrace positivity and experience more of it into our life. Especially when we embark on a journey towards a good and positive life, we will get to experience sometimes really hard times but when we look closely, we'll find that these hard times are actually benefitting us on our journey towards our goals and dreams. The more positivity a person is aiming for, the more negativity they have to experience and learn from. At the end of the day, we are not our own God. There is a higher source which knows better than us, what is right for our best progress and advancement. And that higher source is always helping us to achieve our best lives. So our biggest challenge and duty in life is to focus on the positive even when times get tough and to always trust the progress and remain positive and hopeful through every situation. I swear that the results which you will experience after maintaining a positive mindset through hard situations, will be a real triumph and success. Once you experience that, it will further empower and encourage you to be more positive and to choose even more of the good in life. Hereby I encourage you to read my article Need for Speed or Need for Problem?

Now let us jump straight into the main theme of today's article: one of the biggest choices in life that is so often neglected by us is the choice for the good. By the good I mean everything that feels good, sounds good and looks good - every positive emotion, feeling, thought, action or words and everything that is based on peace and love. The truth is that the good and all its attributes is not something that one can achieve through luck. But it's a choice. It is a choice that we all can make every day. We all, no matter which part of the earth, no matter which circumstance in life, we always have the choice to either choose the good or choose the bad. And since our outside world is very often a reflection of our internal state, when we make our internal state good - such as through good thoughts, feelings and emotions, then our outside world will also change in a positive way. Hence the most well-known verse and statement: "The condition of people will not change until they change what is within themselves." (The Quran; Chapter 13, Verse 11)

This is the biggest truth. And this is also the reason why bad things happen to good people. It is because these people are holding on to fears, doubts, worries and different negative thoughts and emotions. Their internal state remains negative and therefore, their external world becomes a reflection of that. This is why some good people are living a life in which whatever they are afraid of will come true and manifest in their world. But the good news is that we have a choice. We are still given the choice every single day to fill ourselves with positive thoughts, emotions and feelings. And also to say things that are positive and to surround ourselves with positivity - such as positive people, and a beautiful environment.

Once you understand this concept, your whole life will change. 

In the 2nd part of this article, I will share with you how you can start living a life that is filled with more joy and happiness. The Choices We Neglect (2/3): Choosing Peace Over Fear

About the Author

Sumayah U.R. is the Chief Executive Officer at Inspired Living Counselling enterprises. She is the author of the book The Relationship between Islam and Modern Science. She has a BA in Islamic Studies and a Certificate in Education from the Islamic Online University. 

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Need for Speed OR Need for Problem?

Why do we have problems? Why can't we stay happy all the time?

These are perhaps the most commonly asked questions by all of us. The answer is: because we need them. Yes, we need problems in life. Why? Because they play the most important part in the game of evolution, expansion and growth. And growth is one of the 3 basic human needs; which are, the need for Purpose, the need for Security and the need for Growth. Difficult times help us in our human need for growth and expansion. Growth is necessary for a happy and successful life.

Now you might be wondering that how can growth help us to live happy lives when it is so difficult? If I want a happy life then the last thing I want is problems, right? Because isn't that the opposite of happiness?

That's true. And I'm definitely writing this article to help you live a happier and a more successful life.

The thing is that the reason why problems occur in our life is due to our need to grow. Now, there is a difference between hardship happening to you and you facing hardship. Let me explain. When you sit around and try to chill and enjoy all the time, and you just want to enjoy the easy atmosphere of your cozy comfort zone, but then all of a sudden when something bad happens to you and you freak out and start getting angry and sad on life, you lose all the hopes and become depressed. You'll also have a hard time in facing difficult situations because you are not prepared for them and all you want is to actually keep chillaxing in your comfort zone - which is so much nicer than the face of a fierce problem. This makes you literally suffer and rejoice in pain. Even though after some suffering you'll eventually learn the lesson which that problem has taught you and the problem itself will be solved one day and you might probably have become a better and a stronger person with new valuable experiences, but then, you are going back to your comfort zone and hope for no other problem to occur ever again. But after a while, it will be knocking on your door again. This keeps on repeating itself for the whole life.

But here is a different scenario. If on the other hand, you consciously prepare yourself for growth. If you intentionally take the courage to do things that are difficult but eventually bring you to where you want to be in life. And if you start facing every challenge that comes in your way on the road to achieving your dreams. This time it's a whole difficult situation. Because now you will not get shocked or disappointed by these problems because you are prepared. You are ready to face every difficulty that comes your way and you take power over all the fears that you have, because you know that behind all this suffering waits your dream life - the things that you always wanted to have and the goals that you always wanted to accomplish. For this, challenges of daily life will not really be able to overpower you because you started the battle, and you had the consciousness from the beginning that you will surely win this game. And even if things don't turn out the way you wanted them to be, you will still remain a legend. And you will have all the rights to be proud of it. To be proud for all that you did to achieve your dreams. And all the priceless experiences that you have learnt along the journey. And last but not least, the strong and brave person that all of it has made you. This makes life more exciting and fun. If you live life with this type of consciousness then celebrating the triumph for your achievements and great victory will be much more fun, fulfilling and satisfactory than the now boring comfort zone which you once thought to be the best place in life.

So basically, if we don't prepare to face challenges every day and take the steps to achieve our dreams, which is actually 'we approaching problems and hustling and bustling to solve them and make it through, instead of problems approaching us because of our NEED for growth'. Problems are a free gift of life. We often take them for granted if we don't learn from them and don't use them as tools for growth and advancement. And let me end this article by saying that problems occur in our life for an important lesson that we need to learn for our own benefit, and as long as we don't learn the lesson and as long as we don't grow, the same problem will happen again and again.

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