The reason why you came across here might be that you either want to have more control over everything, in particular other people, or because you are already a controlling person and you want to stop being controlling. In either ways, keep reading because this small piece of writing is designed for you.
The reason why most people want to control others is often because it makes them feel in control. And this feeling gives them a sense of fulfillment for their inner emptiness. They actually have an unfulfilled need which remains starving. This constant feeling of lack, starving and emptiness then tries to satisfy itself through controlling other people, things or events. But often times that internal emptiness comes from having no control over oneself and also no emotional awareness of oneself. And even though controlling people may temporarily feel satisfying and empowering, but the truth is that, on the long run, being controlling only puts you into more mental stress and frustration. The reason being that as long as your need remains unmet, you will continue starving and this starving causes you to look for alternative ways which can only make you forget about that empty feeling for a short time. And when things don't go your way, you will feel an extreme feeling of emptiness and worthlessness.
So one of the most important things here to do is to try to find that unmet need. What is that need inside of you that remains unfulfilled or perhaps even neglected and unheard by you. Once you found your need, look for healthy ways that fulfill those needs. Meet your own needs by giving yourself whatever you are emotionally in need of. If it is something that can only be fulfilled by others, then ask for it. Don't feel shy to let the people in your life know about what you need and expect from them. Engage in healthy conversations and try to find solutions for your unmet needs, because your needs are important and valuable. We all have needs. They need to be met in healthy ways, because as long as they are unmet, we will look for alternative ways to fulfill those needs or should I say, to feel like as if those needs are met, when in actuality they are not.
So set yourself free from whatever people do, say or think and whatever they like or dislike. And instead of controlling others, start to take control over yourself. Start taking responsibility for yourself and start taking care of your own inner self. Give yourself the control and awareness that you have been depriving yourself of for so long.
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